There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
tonight lets celebrate not being married
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
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