your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
