Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
