Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
