okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I am naked and annoyed.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Randomize
