OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
