Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
