sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
