My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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