Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
