Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
