Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
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I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
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I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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