All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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