I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
