I need to stop coming to work sober
Farmville is her only friend.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
