At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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