I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
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My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
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So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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