he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
