Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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