I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
