My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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