Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
