that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
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I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
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I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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