You really coming over, don't trick.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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