It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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