i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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