So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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