Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
