He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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