Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
