You smell like a Billy Joel song
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
did i walk over a car last night?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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