Apparently you make a good broom.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize
