If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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