...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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