i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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