Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
