I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
