no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
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