If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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