I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
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