last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
