quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
