forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
this beer tastes like vomit already
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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