Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
