I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize