we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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