I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
