I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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