Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
