Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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