My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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