I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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