i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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