that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
