Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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