i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
