Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
