dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
