That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
