yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
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