Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
