I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
