he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
