Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize