Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
well you can't waste a boner
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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