I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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