I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
