Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize