The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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