seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
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Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
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Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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